Two weeks in the past, I offered my 2022 BMW G310GS. I used to be the primary proprietor, and it was nearly due for its first oil change after I rode it off to that nice scrapyard within the sky (New Jersey) to cross it on to its subsequent caretaker. Mechanically, functionally, it was excellent — I simply wished one thing extra. Extra energy, extra cylinders, extra floor clearance.
Two days later, I took the practice north out of Manhattan for just a few hours to satisfy the vendor of this: A 2013 BMW F800GS. After all, assembly up was solely a formality for paperwork — I’d already purchased the bike primarily based on a single blurry FaceTime name. That plan labored out so effectively on my Miata, why not attempt it once more?
In particular person, the bike largely lived as much as that video name. The military-green vinyl wrap was a bit worse for put on than anticipated, however that’s doubtless coming off anyway — the manufacturing unit blue paint beneath is far more to my style. The tires, too, had been rougher than anticipated. Not solely had been they mismatched, with the entrance having a way more aggressive off-road tread than the rear, however they’re positively historic in tire phrases — 2017 for the entrance, and 2013 for the rear.
The bike had a warning mild on the sprint for a burnt-out lamp, however all appeared to be functioning correctly. The vendor talked about an improve to LED bulbs, so I’m assuming the problem has to do with a distinction in impedance between the manufacturing unit lamps and the extra fashionable upgrades. I’ll be ignoring that for now.

The F800GS is, in each manner, an improve over my previous G310. That buzzy single has been changed with a whopping two cylinders, placing out a mixed 85 horsepower. The entrance wheel on my new GS is a full 21 inches, making it higher for rolling over rocks, logs, and curbs than the previous bike, and it carries its gasoline beneath the seat — a elaborate method to decrease the middle of gravity.
Not that low, nevertheless, as I found after I instantly dropped the bike within the vendor’s driveway. The “Have I simply not directly killed this particular person?” look in his eye as he helped me carry the bike again up for my two-hour trip house was not delicate. I, in my view, blame the chilly climate and his oddly-sloped driveway for the drop.
On the trip again, nevertheless, issues didn’t really feel a lot better — in truth, my new GS rides a lot, a lot worse than it appears. The bike is actually sketchy bordering on scary when turning, and it wants its justifiable share of labor earlier than I am going taking any extra lengthy journeys. Fortunately for you all, which means one factor: A sequence of wrenching blogs, beginning with a roundup of all of the faults I managed to find on my new-to-me bike. Maintain a watch out for that checklist coming quickly.